I’ve been thinking a lot about getting older, approaching my 41 birthday in May I feel more in touch with who I am now than ever before. More and more each day I can see that everything is happening as it should and the ability to develop gratitude even during the hard and confusing times is easier to come by. I wonder if this is one of the gifts of aging and wisdom? The ability to step more fully into a place of trust and faith all the time no matter what. It’s been made very clear to me in the past year that we can’t expect to move in the direction of our heart without inquiring and then asking. To take it a step further, I try to leave my plans at the door as something concrete and simply ask to be shown and guided to what is in my heart and that it be for the highest good of all concerned.
One of the greatest gifts of 2014 was the gift of Cody the horse coming into my life out-of-thin-air. His out of the blue, larger than life presence in my life can only be described as a miracle. In my constant asking to be of service, to grow, to be and do more, I know Cody was brought to me to help me heal old hurts, and lingering illusions of fear. Spending many hours outside listing to my heart, and being listened to by the most unconditional fuzzy ears, Cody has helped me in one of the most topsy-turvy years of my life, and in turn is showing me the way back to my strengths and innate wisdom.
When we ask we never know in what form our prayers will be answered, keeping our heart and mind open to hearing and receivng the guidance we are seeking is the second step to the asking. Cody has taught me so much about being brave. Through his own physical ailments, and long wait to have a human to love him, and then his incredible healing and profound turn around in personality through having someone believe in him, is nothing short of inspiring. So many times when I am with him I think he is like a giant mirror for me, echoing back so much of what I know but haven’t been able to fully actualize.
I say to Cody almost every time I am with him, “wow you are so brave, you are so strong and capable, you are so beautiful and valuable to me and all the other humans animals where you live. You make me so happy and fill my heart with love and gratitude. I’m thankful for you and for God bringing you into my life to help me grow.” Then I hear him say it all back to me!
In July I leave for yoga teacher training where I will be spending 33 days living alone and going through an intense process of learning and further developing other aspects of myself. I know that I would not be going to this training is it wasn’t for Cody. I was actually at the ranch when the conversation transpired that led me to it. Again when we ask to be of service, the person, event, conversation will arrive that will tell us what direction to take. I know after all those days of shaking and being afraid of the unknown in working with a giant animal like Cody, and all the little missteps and triumphs, that it gave me the confidence to say yes to the next big thing in my life. Cody nor the teacher training in Colorado took any effort. It just was. It all came with ease and grace, the doors to the path I am supposed to be on and the direction that is in my heart arrived at the perfect time, with deep knowing of being exactly right where I need to be.
Planning is good, and unavoidable in our day to day lives, and around that is the present moment awareness of being guided and experiencing miracles we could never foresee or force to be. I’m so grateful for being a part of the flow of life and I cant wait to see where the journey is taking me.
If I’m rushed in the mornings without time to mediate or get still (which I hope doesn’t happen too often) I at least always say this prayer from A Course In Miracles, the transformative metaphysical text:
Dear God, please “show me where to go, what do to, what to say and to whom.”
This simple prayer is not about us or our plans, or the ego. It says: I trust and have faith that all is guided and given as it should be. I know for myself I am willing to receive that in which I can not see.
Miracles and love to you,